This is my team. We will fucking kill you.

Axl rose cause he's fucking insane and will cut your ass. Also, he's friends
with Charlie Manson.

The Fab 5. Always ready to do battle against bad taste.

Ingvar Kamprad, founder of Ikea and now richest man in the world at $53 billion.
He is clearly insane, and will manufacture cheap weapons at reasonable prices.
"Ikea" is swedish for "Heather"

Starring Jessica Simposon as the evil mastermind. Clearly the vapidness is
all just a clever ruse!

Scarface, cause all the rappers seem to like him and he's obviously tough.
Plus being born in Miami means I need a token Cuban.

Sanke Eyes from GI Joe. That d00d knows kung fu! Plus he is evil, and always
manages to make it look like no one died, when everyone is obviously very very
dead.

Isis from Bring it On. Do not step to this bitch, she and her possee will beat
you buffies down before curfew... AND win the national cheerleading championship.

ROWWWR!!! The scary cat from Cliff Y and Somethingawful.com. It's obvious that this feline
will rip your ass to shreds like a fucking panda. Just try to bring it diary_of_a_cat Your little white paws are no match for
THIS tabby!

And Finally...

Theo "The Rat" deRaadt. Founder of the OpenBSD project. This fucker
is so leet and SUCH a heinous asshole he will kill you all just for looking
at him. Do not fuck with him, seriously. He will kill you.

I'm battle ready, bitches... BRING IT! My team cannot be stopped. Just fucking
try it. We'll beat your ass, pay off your family, scare the fuck out of you,
make you fall in love, fix your bad haircut AND migrate your servers to a default
secure operating system all in the blink of your battle under-prepared lame
ass! [We will also dazzle you with run-on sentences and creative grammar.]